There’s a rant brewing and I’ll tell you why… I’ve got an 8 year old boy who’s just started in my classes. His behaviour history over the last few years is totally appalling. It’s dreadful that he’s been allowed to behave this way for so long, but I’m not really shocked. I deal with this sort of thing every day in my job of taking on kids who are at the point of being permanently kicked out of school and successfully managing their behaviour.
Well, this particular child’s behaviour is exceptionally bad…
I’m not ranting about this little guy… He’s ok – well he will be before too long…
I’m actually ranting about the adults in this boy’s school and so many other schools I have dealings with! Those adults who’ve allowed this little boy to deteriorate into the awful state he’s now in. They’re dire and dreadful!
Good heavens, what crime have they commited? Well, rather than accept any responsibility themselves they’ve got together and written whining letters to those in a higher position, complaining about this little boy…
And their intended outcome? I would imagine they’d like this ‘problem’ to disappear from the radar and not re-appear!
Well, aren’t they right to complain? No, they’re not! Why do I think that? Because, at risk of repeating myself, children’s problem behaviour is an issue for the adults, and the reason children are behaving so badly is that adults are continually mismanaging the behaviour.
So basically, what I’m saying to these people who have made it very clear that they’re putting the whole blame on this little kid for his behaviour and they’re washing their hands of him completely, ‘Stop whingeing and whining and accept that you are at least partly, if not completely to blame for this child’s behaviour!!’
Why do kids behave badly? Simple… because they can and nobody does anything about it to stop it happening !! Well apart from whinge and whine and moan that is… and that’s hardly effective, is it?
If adults want to see changes in children’s behaviour they have to look at their own behaviour first. The only way children’s behaviour will change is if adults make changes to their own behaviour. It can’t happen any other way.
So, get a grip. If you don’t know what to do then learn what to do. It’s not difficult. Put your money where your mouth is and start doing what adults should do. Manage kids!!
Ok, my ranting’s done for now!
Liz Marsden is a widely experienced and successful children’s behaviour management expert. She uses her expertise to train teachers, students and parents to manage children’sren’s challenging behaviour. Visit Liz’s website where you can access her widely recommended book and learn about her behaviour management techniques that are proved to work time after time.
categories: behaviour management,managing kid’s behaviour,managing challenging behaviour,classroom management,extreme behaviour,disciplining children,teaching and training,children’s education,parenting,raising children,social behaviour